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Review: Zombieland (2009)

Saturday, November 14th, 2009 | Movies, Reviews | No Comments

Earth’s population has been decimated by a virus, related to the mad cow disease, that turns everyone into flesh-craving zombies. Only a handful of humans remain, including Columbus, trying to make his way to his home town, where he hopes his parents are still alive. Columbus has long been an outsider and somewhat phobic, which he uses to his advantage in avoiding zombies. In fact, zombies are not his greatest fear: clowns are.

Woody Harrelson and dork Jesse Eisenberg in a zombie flick? Well, you kinda get what you expect, a quite cheesy comedy, but the zombie part is very well done – and very graphic (almost feels real). After watching the opening scene I was completely hooked. See for yourself (wait for the opening credits part starting at 2:35!):

Zombie splatter in slow-mo accompanied by Metallica’s “For Whom The Bell Tolls”. An instant winner

It’s a pity the film cannot stand up to this brilliant start, it’s coming down to a quite good zombie comedy (Zombie Bill Murray, muhhaha), but towards the end it feels kind of random.  I am impressed this film made it into the IMDB Top 250, well done!

I also have to state that I disliked the “senseless destruction” scene. Watching a bunch of Whities whacking an Indian store to pieces…  felt kinda racist to me (yes, there was a cowboy, too, but come on, next time whack a Wall Mart!).

7.5/10 – a modern zombie comedy that almost rocks completely, almost …

Tags: comedy, horror, zombie

Review: Friday the 13th (2009)

Friday, February 13th, 2009 | Movies, Reviews | 1 Comment

I am seriously annoyed. This film was so bad I almost feel bad wasting my time blogging about it. It was worse than Death Race, imagine that! I spent 9 bucks, just to sit next to a smelly Goth guy (not just patchouli – to each his own – I am talking about day old sweat!), 5 foot short but wearing a leather jacket, tough guy! For fuck’s sake, my living room provides me with a crispier image, better sound, a comfy couch and no one gets on my nerves (or senses, talking about the smell). I am really sick of going to the movies, sharing a room with all these imbeciles and morons.

Back to the film. I didn’t expect much. In fact I expected another remake, as they are so common nowadays. But what I got was just another sequel, Friday the 13th Part XXX (yep, there are more tits in here than usually, fake though). Not endorsing the title with a “Part foobar” is nothing short of being a scam IMHO!

Fuck, this movie is so bad it makes me sick. Just take a couple of teenagers, throw them into the woods and wait for every single one to get chopped into pieces. The death scenes are not even remotely well done (even House of Wax‘s were better!), there is no such thing as tension, the flick rather is a comedy – there is slapstick in here, come on, I wanted to be reminded of the 80s horror’s genre, for fuck’s sake!

Sorry for swearing, but I am happy that I can write like this in my own blog – no censorship here… and this piece of crap doesn’t deserve anything less explicit.

1.0/10 – Keep as far away as you can from this bloody piece o’shit rip off sequel bullshit!!

Tags: comedy, remake, rip off, scam, sequel

Review: Zack and Miri Make a Porno (2008)

Monday, December 1st, 2008 | Movies, Reviews | No Comments

Kevin Smith strikes again. Yeah right! As if! I may upset some die hard fans but I am not afraid to say something *against* something that some people think is kewl by definition (as in “No, I don’t like Douglas Adams, even though I consider myself a geek – and laugh about 42 jokes.”).

Alright, what is the fuzz all about? It’s Jack and his flatmate Miri being broke, deciding to make a porno to get some money. The idea is anything but original and Kevin Smith fans are bothered by the oh so familiar f… word all the time (don’t take me wrong, they expect that as a quality feature )

Again the movie is dialogue driven (with some porn in it ) – which is good but never reaches the genius of past instalments. In my opinion Smith released a masterpiece with Clerks (9/10 IMHO), followed by some good movies (Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma), followed by some quite boring movies (Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Jersey Girl, Clerks 2). Again, just my two cents.

In the end we have a comedy / drama thing (real love is part of the story, too) that has it’s moments, too much swear words (that rather are a pain in the neck than enhance the fun factor) and nothing out of the ordinary that would make it a better than mediocre flick. It’s fun to see Jason “Jay” Mewes again and Elizabeth Banks is giving an awesome example of cuteness/hotness at the same time! Hmmmm … nice!

All together rather disappointing – considering a Kevin Smith production.

6.5/10

P.S. Funny thing is that I see the same development with Simon Pegg. Shawn of the Dead is a Classic, Hot Fuzz really good and the recent How to Lose Friends & Alienate People pretty boring. Well, he didn’t write the last one, just took part in it. Hope he’ll get his act together.

Tags: comedy, douglas adams, drama, elizabeth banks, jason mewes, jay, kevin smith, porn, simon pegg